Let’s Talk About It: What Should You Know?

As I prepare to share the monthly blog, I often look back on my daily connections with students and pull from those topics that I feel every parent needs to know.  I recognize that I am privileged to see their honesty, their vulnerability and their incredible way of engaging in conversation when it comes to substance use issues which leaves me with this thought, “How can I help parents with having similar experiences around a topic that tends to carry such negative stigma”?

For me I feel the first thing parents could benefit from is recognizing stigma.  Substance use tends to be equated with being a failure or being someone who has no control.  People often have a visual in their minds about what substance misuse looks like: someone on the streets, someone unable to control themselves, someone who lacks good hygiene or even  someone who is dangerous.  In all honesty-this could not be further from the truth and believing in the stigma can actually keep people from seeking help due to fear that they would be judged or stigmatized. Stigma related to addiction often comes from a lack of knowledge and underlying fear (often due to lack of knowledge).  We now know and understand that addiction is a chronic, treatable medical condition and that people can and do recover.  As parents, we often look at our children as an extension of ourselves.  Parent shaming is alive and thriving thanks to social media and parenting today brings on its own challenges when it comes to substance use. If we have a child that is using drugs we often take on shame ourselves-which can lead to challenges within the family system.  Being able to have an open, honest conversation without blame and negativity is key to supporting your child. It also helps break down stigma and gets to the root of the problem. I am always happy to help guide that conversation if needed. Also- it is important to note that use does not equate to addiction. To determine if one has a substance use disorder  (a specific substance use addiction), a comprehensive assessment should be done with recommendations for support or treatment given. There is a belief among many that if one uses often, one is addicted.  While that may seem logical, that is not always the case.  Addiction is complex and a diagnosis should be done by a professional such as a licensed alcohol and drug counselor. Stigma around going to treatment is real as well and can often keep those who need to from going.  When parents or adults “threaten” to send a child or a loved one to treatment, they are actually reinforcing the belief that treatment is a punishment, making it a negative when it should ALWAYS be a positive. If you or anyone you know is seeking some support related to a loved one’s use, a great program is Hazelden Betty Ford’s virtual family support group. Another resource is Thrive Family Recovery, which offers a great family program that parents can tap into to help build their understanding and knowledge related to addiction.

Another thing I would like parents to be aware of is how and where students get their information.  I am constantly amazed at what students share with me regarding what they see on social media.  Of late is a new trend that has been popping up on social media: Galaxy Gas. 
While these trends come and go, the impact that it can have when there is no conversation around it are lost opportunities to give accurate, unbiased information.  By creating a safe space to have open, honest conversations around substance use is the first step and then ASK.  Ask your child what they see, what is most popular, what are the trends? An article related to social media and substance use can be seen here.  The National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA) has compiled a list of 10 questions teens often ask related to substance use.  Take a peek and see if you are able to answer these questions! 

Shifting our own perspective, being more open and honest in communication and showing curiosity by asking questions is key to building trust and respect in any relationship-especially the parent/child relationship.  This is not an easy thing to accomplish and in my own experience I had to really look at my own beliefs, fears and worries first before I could engage in having those more important conversations with my own children. 

I will continue to share what I know, what I hear and what I feel parent’s would benefit from via this blog and other platforms as they arise. If you ever have any questions, thoughts, comments or concerns feel free to reach out!  Until then, may you find this information helpful and be able to say to your child, “Let’s Talk About It”!

Colleen O’Neil, LADC,CPP
Mounds View Chemical Health Prevention Specialist
651-829-4708
colleen.o’neil@moundsviewschools.org

Julia Geigle, MSW, LICSW
Mounds View Mental Health Specialist
612-470-8937
julia.geigle@moundsviewschools.org

Chad Jayasekera, MA, LICSW
Mounds View Mental Health Specialist 
651-212-5291
chad.jayasekera@moundsviewschools.org

Here are some additional links you may find helpful related to this month’s topic:

Smashing the Stigma
Words Matter